Perspective

To love. 

To be loved.

To never forget your own insignificance. 

To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. 

To seek joy in the saddest places. 

To pursue beauty to its lair. 

To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. 

To respect strength, never power.

Above all, to watch ... To try and understand ... To never look away. 

And never, never, to forget. 

                                                   — Arundhati Roy

I ran across this while browsing one evening. I run into a lot of heavy, silly, sweet and very deep quotes. The web is chalk full of them. But for some reason that I can't explain this one was 'real' to me. It was meaningful and I couldn't just click over to the next page. I stopped and physically wrote it down so as not to forget it.

You see, as a single mother of four life can be rather daunting... Overwhelming even and quite honestly I've found myself completely terrified at times. I find myself often in need of perspective. It's so easy to get buried in all the demands of jobs, kids, homework, housework, bills, deadlines, friends, relationships, teachers and then there is the very pitiful amount of time I actually spend trying to nurture my relationship with God and myself. I've actually had the hair brained notion that perhaps I could train for and run my first half marathon... silly me.


The reason this was so poignant for me I think was because it gave me the gift of perspective. In the midst of all the shuffling and running and stressing I was forced to stop and drink in fresh perspective. I'm loved. I have dozens of people that I get to love. My worries are insignificant in the grand scheme of things.






Anyway, I wanted to share it with all of you. I hope it can do something similar for you.

Boys

Got up out of bed the other morning and began my morning ritual of starting the coffee and tidying the kitchen and beside the sink was this. It doesn't really surprise me it just made me grin. I've been a sentimental mother lately. My oldest is quickly approaching his teens and about to start middle school and scenes like this are going to be less common. So I grabbed my camera to capture this memory forever. Thanks boys.

Last Day of School

Today is the last day of school. As the boys were headed out the door I felt the need to commemorate the moment. Here they are the last time Joshua will be a kindergartner, the last time Weslee will be a 4th grader and the last time Kolby will be a 2nd grader. I have a lot of mixed emotions about all this.

First of all and the most dominate emotion is excitement, I remember how excited I was on the last day of school when I was a kid, about the fact that a promotion and greater power lie in my near future and of course the coming summer months of sleeping in, watching cartoons and hangin' out with my friends. This is such a contagious emotion, despite the fact that we will be spending the next few months breaking up fights and anticipating the I'm bored's that we will be assaulted with, we found ourselves laughing and playing with our little men this morning as they packed their lunches.

Secondly, is a little bit of apprehension. I know full well what the coming 2009-2010 school year holds for me. Not only will my youngest, Bailee, be starting kindergarten, but even scarier my oldest, Weslee, will be starting his last year in elementary school. This time next year he'll be graduating from being a little kid to being a big kid or "tween". I remember how miserable middle school was for me, as do most of you, and I only have one year to prepare him for that. WOW! I just thought of something...next summer he'll be going off to summer camp with the Junior Highers!

God bless Station Camp Elementary they will be completely inundated with Burtnett's! It will be the first and last time all my kids are at the same school.

Despite all this I'm looking forward to spending some quality time with all my peeps this summer. We have some big plans to do a bit of traveling. (Although not as grand as we had originally planned thanks to some financial surprises. Call me if you want details.) We plan to connect with some friends and generally enjoy each other. Ultimately, I am striving to avoid boredom, fighting and losing my mind. I only have until August 3rd to accomplish this so I better get busy!

Have a great summer!

Mother's Day

I had a great Mother's Day yesterday. Started out the day with breakfast in bed and some Starbuck's, then met up with some friends at the Stone's River Greenway only to discover that the trailhead had been swallowed by the swollen river thanks to the insane amount of rain we've been getting lately. Found another access point and enjoyed a beautiful walk and the incredible scent of honeysuckle and jasmine all along the way. Then onto Casa Vieja for some grub and home to open my presents. I got a super sweet waffle maker from my kiddies and an SB-900 speedlight (really cool flash for my camera) from my hubby.

It was an awesome day and I am so blessed to be a mommy to my four little rugrats.

My Boys

I love these guys

Baby Bella

This week I've been blessed with the opportunity to take care of this precious little peanut for my friend. It has been about 5 years since I've had a baby this age around and I was worried about wether or not I'd lost my touch. Before I go any further I need to take into account that 'Bella' is and exceptionally pleasant and easy baby to take care of, none the less I felt pretty good about my experience today. Some highlights...

1. I'd completely forgotten the DEEP satisfaction in getting a baby to nap. Seriously, I felt quite accomplished each time she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. I did it! Then I felt compelled to do some housework....that's the weirdest part because I rarely feel compelled to do housework.

2. Changing diapers is like riding a bike. I am happy to report that I can still change a diaper in about 9 seconds flat. Please take into account that I've had about 8 years of experience in this area so don't beat yourself up too badly.

3. There is no sweeter sound than a baby giggle, again deep sense of pride and satisfaction each time I cracked her up. Granted, had I seen a video of myself as I made goofy faces and danced around like a dork I'm sure I might feel a little bit differently about that.

4. I love to watch my sons go all gooey each time she smiled at them. Weslee could barely tear himself away from her.

5. Being spit-up on still doesn't alarm or disgust me, I'm still wearing the same stinky, spit-up sweatshirt and I have no intention of changing it anytime soon.

6. Driving with a baby in the car makes me a more cautious and defensive driver. Why is that? My kids are just as fragile but somehow I was more nervous with an infant in the vehicle.

I can't wait until Bella gets here tomorrow! I'm sure I'll have a few more revelations to share with y'all as the week progresses.

Happy Birthday Bailee!

Our BIG 5 year old Bailee!

Opening her presents

Even baby Bella got dressed up....sooo cute, she even did the hula!

Make a wish

Bailee, Carragan and Kaylea

It happened. Despite all our best efforts...Bailee turned 5 last Thursday. It was a week of celebrating for her and a week of grieving for Steve and I. Why does 5 seem so big? It has been more difficult than we anticipated watching our youngest reach this milestone. I'm not sure if it's just because she's the youngest or because she's at the sweet, girly finale of years of testosterone or because she's simply, Bailee our sweet loving baby girl. I imagine it's a combination of the three. In a few weeks I will be registering her for kindergarten!

If you've spent anytime around us you know how besotted we are with our little Bailee. She is so loving and sweet it is almost impossible to discipline her when she misbehaves. Her big brothers cater to her every whim and her Daddy is completely and admittedly wrapped around her tiny, little, pinkie finger. It has been a huge blessing to parent her as with all my children but when Bailee joined our crew she altered us all so completely with her distinct femininity it took us all by surprise. It's impossible to imagine what this family would have been like without her influence. She's tickled us pink and we are all better because of her...God is so good.

Welcome Bella Grace

I just wanted to take a moment to introduce the newest member of the Lynch family.

Isabella Grace

She came into this world on January 12, 2009

That blessed little princess was adopted by my darling friend Stephanie and her husband Brian. They had waited and prayed for a long, looooonnnng time for a baby and we had been praying as well. God chose to bring them their child in a very special way and we are all so thankful and are praising Him for the incredible way He chose to do bring it about.

As a February 2, 2009 it all became official. God is SO good and we have been so blessed to know Bella and her sweet Mommy and Daddy.

Ephesians 3:20

Now to Him is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine...

Snow Day!

We finally had a snow day with actual snow!

Cupcakes Anyone?

Today was another "snow" day. We decided to make some yummy cupcakes to pass the time. Want one?

New Years Resolutions

So, it's that time of year again when we look forward to a new year. Most people look upon the new year as a chance for a clean slate. An opportunity to start over and get some things right that we struggled with in the past. Unfortunately, many people make a resolution and like myself, it is shallow and we quickly give up on it when we don't see the results we desire in a timely manner or when we don't get the satisfaction out of it we hoped we would.

I want my "resolution" this year to be something of substance. I, of course, have plans to take better care of this body God provided me with but, that has more to do with all the holiday gluttony over the past couple months than the fact that a numerical change is ahead.
Last year I received an e-mail that had a resolution worth keeping. At the time I wasn't in a place where I could recognize the importance of it. I printed it out and stuffed it in a drawer and recently it called my name. It's amazing that it survived the move!

So, here it goes...

I will put my time with the Lord before the TV, the radio and even before good Christian books, for my children will know my priorities by the way they see me spend my free time.

I will make prayer requests known before God and my children, enlisting their help in the process and informing them of the outcome, for by letting them help when I petition our Lord they will learn of a living God who still answers prayer.

When times of crisis, conflict or confusion arise, I will hit my knees before I hit the phone knowing that by my example my children will discover that although friends are important, God alone is the one who holds the solution to life's every problem.

I will erase the words "luck" and "lucky" from my vocabulary and will instead by my speech point my children toward the One who orchestrates every detail of our lives and brings all good things to pass, for by this my children will learn of an omniscient God.

When bad things happen, I'll neither grumble nor complain, but will instead help my children see that in the scope of our lives even the bad times are allowed for a reason, for by this my children will learn quiet trust in their Maker.

When normal childhood mishaps occur, I will remember that although difficult, it is still easier to remove grape juice from off white carpet than to erase harsh and unloving words hurled at a child whose chubby little fingers have failed her, for by this my children will see a God who understands when our best efforts fall short.

When my children have witnessed something ugly in me - unkind words, an angry temper, "harmless" gossip, biting sarcasm or even my infamous "mommy pout" when things don't go my way - I will confess it as sin before them seeking their forgiveness, for by this my children will develop the much needed habit of wiping their spiritual slate clean before God and man.

I will teach my children the importance of cleanliness and order while at the same time remain sensitive to the fact that a skinned knee or hurt feeling is more crucial than a spotless floor or uncluttered counter, for by this my children will learn to value people above things.

I will make time for the lonely, the sick, the elderly, the difficult to love, and will bring my children along, for with each afternoon visit, each ride to the doctor, each raked lawn or washed window they will have the opportunity to serve Jesus by serving the "least of these".

I will make our home a haven of rest and retreat from the outside world and a welcomed place for my children's friends, for with each impromptu backyard soccer game, each video viewed on a rainy day, each cup of hot cocoa or chocolate chip cookie, my children will have the opportunity to practice the art of Christian hospitality thereby learning to share all God has given them.

I will by my actions and speech let my children see a mom love their dad, for by this will my children sense family stability at a time when marriages all around them are crumbling.

I will not require of my children obedience, honesty, patience or kindness without first being willing to submit to the same rules whether in speed limit, in miscounted change from the store or when answering a toddler for the fourteenth time, for by this my children will see a mother who is also learning and not a perfect parent to whom they'll never measure up.

In all things will I remember that more is caught than is taught.

Truthfully, I was not so sure I wanted to share all this with you because now I have some accountability. I KNOW that I will fail at times but I really want to try and be the best child of God I can be this year. Some of those I got down, others...not so much. To be honest some seem really, really difficult but then I read the line about what important lessons my children will learn, it doesn't seem as difficult. As a Mother or Father our greatest mission field is our children. All I really want out of this life is that they all come to know Him and follow Him all the days of their life. Everything else is just gravy.

On a side note...this should not only apply to us as parents. It's not just our children who are watching is it? There is a whole world of non-believers out there who have been let down by what they've seen from us "Christians". Imagine the impact God could make on them if they saw us behave in this manner! Now go back and read it again only this time every time it says "my children" replace it with "this world".

So what are your new years resolutions? Are they worth keeping, worth the effort? I think this one is. Nothing worth doing was ever easy and this one seems worth doing and definitely NOT easy.

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.

Boy Oh Boy!

Today I had the all to rare opportunity to hang out with some of my dearest friends for lunch at Chili's. As I sat back and observed the different personalities surrounding me I quickly placed them in two categories...those raising boys and those not raising boys. It was quite obvious to me the differences. Next to us was a table with our darling children happily coloring and wiggling and making odd noises. Those without boys were quick to notice the odd noises coming from the adjoining table while the mothers of boys seemed blissfully unaware that one of the testosterone driven types fashioned a mega phone out of his placemat and went happily about grunting and growling at the passers by.

I can remember being relatively young like in High School and having a conversation with God. I was basically puting in my "order". I wanted to have four children, three boys followed by a baby girl. You see, I had five brothers myself. Four of which were older than me and I just thought they were the funniest people I'd ever met. They were so intriguing to me and also, quite protective. I wanted the same thing for my daughter should God choose to bless me with one. So, when I became pregnant for the fourth time I just knew it was going to be a girl. I had even purchased some little pink outfits and had the nursery all planned out.

Now that I am a mother of three wild, noisy little dudes of my own I have come to the conclusion that there are two ways to parent them...

1) Be completely horrified, terrified, mystified, grossed out, overwhelmed and exhausted.

2) Or like my darling friends...Be completely amused and infatuated and frankly, in a constant state of AWE. (All the above still come with this package by the way but not quite as frequently)

I consider it an honor that God thought I could handle this great responsibility. Raising boys is definately not for that faint of heart. They come with a lot of strange smells and odd sounds and hair raising, death defying acitvities. I don't think they have any respect for gravity whatsoever. As a mother of boys you must accept the fact that trips to the ER are going to be a fairly common occurence. You must appreciate bodily function humor and not get queasy at the dinner table when, inevitably, the conversation turns that way. Along with all of that comes a lot of sweetness too. They are naturally protective of their Mama's and they wanna be just like their Daddy's. They are also good to have around when giant mutant spiders jump out of the closet.

I've heard a phrase at church that has been thrown around a lot recently. "It stole their joy" A good friend and mentor of ours out in California (Our sweet Ben Evans) corrected us on that. He said "Nobody, no situation or circumstance can STEAL your joy. You give it away" No where in my life has that been more true than now. When my boys are hanging upside down at the dinner table or running through the house pretending to be spider men, I have two choices...I can either give my joy away by scrunching my shoulders up around my ears and squishing up my face or I can watch in wonderment the incredible creation of BOYS! What was God thinking?

Invisible Moms

This is for all my "Mommy" friends. I love you all so much and you are all doing an AMAZING job raising your babies...

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone! One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.' In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.' I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.' At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.
It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.' As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.


And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women. Great Job, MOM!

Happy 9th Birthday Weslee Cole!

On July 17, 1999 my life as I knew it changed forever. At 9:45 am, after 10 hours of labor, my son was placed in my arms. We were in love! At 7lbs and 1 ounce never could we have prepared ourselves for the emotions that rushed through us the first time he opened his eyes and looked right into ours. How could something so tiny rock your world so hard? Steve and I were in awe. Isn't awe one of the most incredible emotions? We spent countless hours staring at that tiny little thing with his giant eyes and bald head. I have the home movies to prove it. With pure elation and pride we toted car seats and diaper bags and proudly wore infant carriers and burp cloths.

I look back now and laugh at those times. I can remember feeling overwhelmed at times and other times I thought I had it all figured out. Little did I know what God had in store for me...

Since that time we've added a few more to our quiver but those subsequent birthing experiences didn't quite compare to that first time. Through Weslee, God has taught us countless lessons of faith as we rushed out little man to the ER in the middle of the night. Wisdom when we couldn't soothe his crying. Patience after we told him a thousand time to stop throwing his toys at the TV. If anything we've learned to pray without ceasing. That, after all, is one of the job requirements of parenting. The thing I'm so thankful for are the memories. I remember sitting around the dinner table when I was a kid and listening to my brothers tell horror stories of how they swung from the chandeliers and landed in the giant bowl of potato salad in their Sunday clothes. We laughed and laughed. I'm thankful that I can look back on some of those disastrous moments we've had and laugh about them, even though at the time the humor of the situation may have escaped me.

Being Weslee's Mom is a blessing I never could've imagined. God knew I'd need help after his siblings arrived and Weslee has always been there for me. He's changed diapers, applied band aids, done dishes since he was 2 (I also have video to prove this) and was always my informant. He adores his brother's and sister and loves to go paint with his Dad. He loves football and rollerblading and is a straight A student with very little effort. He's sticking to his original career goals of Marine Biologist. He's completely fascinated with sea life, especially sharks. He wants to get his SCUBA certification as soon as possible so he can begin his research. He has a soft spot for the underdog and he's willing to risk life and limb for the chance to crack up his baby sister.

Thanks Weslee for blessing us these last 9 years! Your future is bright buddy, we look forward to the next 9 years.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.