These past few weeks have brought alot of difficult situations into my life. With the poor economy a few of my family members have lost their jobs and my Father suffered another heart attack. That has been more painful than I expected. Occasionally it hits me right between the eyes and I am overwhelmed with emotion. I know that I won't have much more time with him and the distance doesn't help the situation.
My head has been so full of thoughts and worries and my heart has been so heavy. I've felt emotionally absent from my family from time to time. All this seems compounded by the holidays. I've always felt the pressure to be happy, bubbly Aly and during the holidays I seem to feel even more so that way. But somehow this year I can't seem to get into the swing of it.
Somehow, it's not enough.
I want something more of substance this holiday season. I've felt God urging me to serve...to give...to love. I'm not sure where to begin. Their are so many needs out there. I've begun praying that God would direct me to where he wants to use me. I want to be His hands, His feet and His heart.
I'm restless...somethings gotta give.