Thursday, December 4, 2008

Restless...

These past few weeks have brought alot of difficult situations into my life. With the poor economy a few of my family members have lost their jobs and my Father suffered another heart attack. That has been more painful than I expected. Occasionally it hits me right between the eyes and I am overwhelmed with emotion. I know that I won't have much more time with him and the distance doesn't help the situation.

My head has been so full of thoughts and worries and my heart has been so heavy. I've felt emotionally absent from my family from time to time. All this seems compounded by the holidays. I've always felt the pressure to be happy, bubbly Aly and during the holidays I seem to feel even more so that way. But somehow this year I can't seem to get into the swing of it.

Somehow, it's not enough.

I want something more of substance this holiday season. I've felt God urging me to serve...to give...to love. I'm not sure where to begin. Their are so many needs out there. I've begun praying that God would direct me to where he wants to use me. I want to be His hands, His feet and His heart.

I'm restless...somethings gotta give.

2 comments:

Carrigan Family said...

Aly - I wanted to apologize for not even asking about your Daddy the other night at Ann's - my brain is completely numb right about now. Ann has kept me posted and I have been praying for you and your family - hard days for you and I'm sorry. I've always found the holidays to be somewhat bittersweet myself - I love them, but always on my mind are those that are hurting. I hate I missed the girls night - guess that means we just have to plan another one really, really soon. I will keep praying - it has to be so hard being so far away. You guys take care!!

Doug and Ash said...

PSALMS 4:8
Read this...i love it.

and I love you. You will be in my prayers. I am sorry to hear about the loss of jobs within your family and I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Miss you and think of you often.

PS great pics with the camera!